Relationships with Married Men

Question: Hi Alana! Months ago you suggested that I simplify my life and follow what brings me joy. As I go through this process I seem to be breaking up many of my relationships, and distancing myself from others. I am finding less need to hold on to old ways.

I have tried to sever ties with two men who both plead with me to remain friends. But they are both married and I am torn between keeping a so called friendship and telling them both NO and running away. One seems to be a soul mate. The other thinks I saved his life. Is it at all possible to maintain any relationship with either of them and still find the love I seek in a full loving relationship? I wonder if the first one is what has held me back from authenticity in my life.

As I seek work that fills my heart, I wonder if these relationships are some kind of indicator of where I am with work as well. There is no evidence yet of joyous work either, and I keep going back to the same old questions. Is this all intertwined somehow? Thanks Alana! You are wonderful.

Click to Listen (Time: 4 minutes, 27 seconds)

Answer: Hello dear one! Well yes, everything is intertwined, you know, because we are a wonderful spinning vibration. Everything within us is spinning energy and how we occupy our thoughts has much to do with how we spin. So, if you find that your thoughts are occupied with the past or they are taking up much time by spinning with other peoples attached energy you are then going to receive more of whatever you are thinking about. So, if you are thinking about someone that is not going to be present, you are going to attract more situations in your life that have to do with lacking presence. You see?

So I feel, dear one, the more you concentrate your energy, by thinking of what you can do through creative action each day while bringing things that feel good into your life, and then holding the image of them without distraction, the more you are going to reap. Yes, I do feel that there is a connection with these relationships you speak of. But, I also feel that you are transforming what you know you can create and bring to you, and are recognizing that you deserve to have splendid love. You deserve to have the whole attention that loving relationships can give. I mean this in a way that is about bringing wonderful qualities to you, as well as you being able to give grand qualities to another. So, this is a fair exchange that you are bringing into your life, as your future unfolds.

So, I feel that deep within, you are beginning to listen greater and greater to what your higher nature knows, and what your grander self senses and feels. I feel that you are bringing many resources within you.

Keep watching your resistance and see where it comes up. See where you resist giving yourself something that you know inside would bring you what you deserve. Watch where you resist giving yourself things that you know could bring you more delight in a whole way, not a partial way, but a whole way. The more you open and allow, the more that you will become a vessel, and then more quality vibrations can come into your life to spin with you.

You are doing quite well dear one, since the first time that we communicated and where I see you today. I feel that your life is unfolding quite nicely. Just keep up the good work. Keep up the vision. Keep up the faith and do not compromise your joy.

Thank you, dear one.

--Alana

 

 

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By Miguel
2010-01-18 14:16:04
 

Hi Alana, I have come to a cross road in my life and need to make a choice. Most of my life I have been living in this small town. I have had few love relationships, and this new girl I met I like very much though she stays a bit far from me. I have to decide whether I stay here, and possibly loose her, or move and have no fear. I actually hate my current job, but find it hard to leave so I use to my comfort zone though I know its affecting my health and personal life. How do I find what my destiny is, my passions, what job I would be really good at and enjoy? I find that I'm very indecisive, insecure and worry about my wealth, so that I feel I want to push away this new love in my life. Because I feel I'm not a good provider, a failure. I've lost a lot of money in the past with the stock market, and quick rich schemes. I know I only have myself to blame. The reason I was like this is because we grew up with a alcoholic dad, who beat us up, and blamed us for the money problems or failed family business. I know its silly to think I should be rich first and then find love. I failed to become rich and loneliness is not fun either, now that I found a girl I like, all these negative thoughts keep coming back. I just want to give up on her and let her find another man that will be a better provider. Yet that will kill me. I should just control my fears. How do I also find my passions, my talents, a job I would be good at? Since I was a young man I have been working for my dad in a retail or supermarket environment. I'm 32 and still work in a supermarket. I'm hating it, it affects my health, my mood and just makes me feel useless. Please advise me on how I could find my purpose and grab this new love without fear of being judged of material things and grow that love with no fear and letting go of my childhood.

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