When a Crush Goes Beyond Infatuation

Question: Something has been bothering me for some time. I know this isn't "Dear Abby", but I thought that maybe you could give me some relationship advice. I have been friends with this guy for a long time. We've grown up together and we're practically brother and sister. But over the last year, after having crushes on his two brothers, I have taken a liking to him. A major liking. This isn't an infatuation deal, I know that. I think I'm too young to call it love. So it's a major like. The problem lies here. Next year, we are going to be at the same university. I want to pursue a relationship, but I'm so afraid that it's going to flop and it'll ruin our friendship. I'm almost willing to risk it, but I wanted some relationship advice. Thanks!

Click to Listen (Time: 3 minutes, 21 seconds)

Answer: Oh dear one, thank you for your question. Alana appreciates your enthusiasm to turn towards love and celebrate the passions that do exist within your nature. Alana has a tip for you which is:

"Take it one day at a time"

You see, when you take it one day at a time you will be in the present moment as you connect with this person. There is nothing like the present moment. If you project yourself into the future you will find when you get to the future your projections will not be how you will respond to him anyway. You can rehearse over and over in your mind how you would like something to be, but when you get to the moment, you respond in the way the moment has created itself. So take it one day at a time. Create from the present moment, you see.

In contrast, we cannot create from the future either, because we are not there yet. We can only create from the present moment. Get in touch with your feelings today and honor how you feel within. Know these feelings are within you. They are yours. They are an expression of the beauty that lies within you. Another person can come into your life and mirror qualities to you. They can bring up things that you get to feel. But, it is you that you are feeling. So, bring this thought into the present moment. When you sit with another just check in with yourself. See what is going on in your body and what your nature is feeling like. It will be a grand example of what is inside of you.

Alana feels that you will know exactly what to do, and you are not in jeopardy of messing this up, ok. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Be in the present moment and your future will turn out grand.

Thank you dear one. I really appreciate your delightful question.

--Alana

 

 

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By Melissa
2009-12-19 15:50:21
 

I have been a victim of infatuations. Whether real people or famous, it puts me in a very confused state of mind. I was 15 when I was infatuated with a real person, older, much older, it started mild, then ugly because I exploded my feelings to others and it came down to the point that this man thought I was in love. I call it a classic story that is untold to the world. Well, I feel my life is a classic story. In 2006, I was foretold of my marriage. I am now 29 and I have never had a guy like me or love me the same way I feel, ever in my life. I even get irritated now when people say I am pretty, nice and whatever. Why am I still the only one in the circle that never had the experience that other girls had. This yr the infatuation syndrome hit me so hard I could cry every night. Since 2006 up to maybe Spring of 09 I had a deep crush on this actor and in some way I thought he might be the ideal guy that would lead me to the marriage, but now I know I was wrong, it was another stupid crush. I never even met the person. In Late Summer of 09 to mid October I had another infatuation with an unreal person, which made me feel better til my sister exploded in my face how I was obsessed with that guy for only a short time. It scared me to the point I wanted this infatuation to wither, die, and go away. I should have stayed infatuated with the first actor. At least it wasn't such a big deal. Then unexpectedly and surprisingly, in only 3 weeks after, which feels mysterious to me, I am infatuated with a dead one, one who passed almost my age. I find it funny that this one was engaged right before time. I am 29, never been touched, and I waiting on the man who was described to be so gorgeous and who loves me so much, whatever, I want to see him next year because this hurts a lot. I can't bear one more. I already feel tortured and punished emotionally, you can't help me because this is too strong, but because of this phase that I never thought I was going to enter, I had to finally say how I feel. I don't choose to feel, but I do.

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