Conflict Resolution

I have had a situation since we first married where my husband's ex-wife has been all around us. She moved to town and tried to make friends with me. She managed to upset me at every turn.

I fear being let down if I develop trust in my partner, but I also fear that my jealousy may actually be more of a problem than my mate's potential supposed infidelity. How can I learn to trust?

How do I speak directly to a person who is physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to her children?

I want to know if I should wait for my cheating husband to wake up and smell the coffee, or should I just get on with my life? (3 minutes, 18 seconds)

I have a really difficult time with my parents. My Mum in particular. They are both alcoholics. I feel as though I am lecturing her all the time. How can I stop being so abusive to her even though I am so angry? (3 minutes, 46 seconds)

Lately it feels as if my life is not under my control. I feel like everything has dipped into a negative valley and I cant escape it. How can I find some peace and center myself when my environment is so negative? (3 minutes, 09 seconds)

I am a mother of 2 beautiful little boys and I am so confused whether I love their father or not. I am having feelings for my ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen in over 4 yrs. Please help! (4 minutes, 15 seconds)

My problem is that I dearly love this job but my wife, who I dearly love, sometimes gets very negative about my job and asks why don't I get a real job that brings in regular money each week. My business is struggling but I love it. I honestly don't know what to do any more. (4 minutes, 56 seconds)

What is the best way to handle the increasing rudeness, aggressiveness in the name of assertiveness, putdowns and plays for power in our society? I realize that we are mirrors of our surroundings and relationships and I have tried to increase my own feelings of self-worth. Please advise what else I can do. (4 minutes, 9 seconds)

My significant other has returned to his home state. My self esteem is at its lowest. I need to find ways to find inner peace and strength. Can you show me the way to love myself, and give me the inner peace that I need so that my heart can heal? (7 minutes, 48 seconds)

When one undergoes a major challenge in life, how can one use negative responses in such way that it might be transformed into a more harmonious and light filled experience. (4 minutes, 47 seconds)

I'm sick of being backstabbed. An ex-friend, or so it seems she is to me, has been talking about me behind my back, and just been flat out hurtful. (3 minutes, 43 seconds)

I'm fighting for custody of my 2 boys. Is there any way you can predict the outcome of the custody? (3 minutes, 36 seconds)

What are effective ways to listen/process somebody's actions or words when that person is unhappy or dissatisfied with you? (5 minutes, 40 seconds)

I need help with attitudes. Is there a technique I can use to facilitate change once I am upset about something?

I'm doing integration work with my inner parts. What advice do you have, dear Alana?

How can I learn to deal with my anger and hatred towards my parents and be peaceful and happy? I really need this help because the anger is sometimes all-consuming.

What do you think? Please enter your comments below.
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By Alekhya

2009-07-07 20:11:06

Dear Alana, I am a student of a professional course that I don't know if I really want to pursue. I have not been able to understand what my real talents are and what job I would enjoy doing. Also my relationship with others seems very unreal most of the time. I feel I am not being my true self. I had a bad relationship with my ex because of my depressive attitude and insecurity. After that had ended I was into another relationship. I am not very proud of my relationship with my father as it has always been a close one, but I do know he loves me. I have a pain at my heart region for which I have been meditating on for some days. Alana I want to end all of this and truly live a life that is beautiful, open, transparent and true to my real self. Can you help me how to make this happen?

By Giovanni

2010-11-21 20:12:40

Alana, I'v been going through a lot, and I need guidance more than anything. I feel like I have no guiding light at all and this dark tunnel only gets more dark and grows longer. Ever since my parents divorce life and school has only gotten harder. I have been noticing how careless I've been getting about life. And how I'm ready to let go of life and die at any minute because I have no reason, nothing to keep living life for. No encouragement. Everyday I deal with people who I call family and friends who I know can easily live life if I'm ever gone. My friends are putting me down just to get a laugh. My family always has been there but never shows. I have always thought that finding love would keep my mind of this having a special someone to make you happy. Well apparently for me. Sounds impossible. I'm close to the point to where I have officially given up on love. Will I even ever find that someone? If so where? Who? How? Who should I go for? Recently I messed up my finger. My pointer finger. And that's the most important finger needed to play guitar. Even though at the moment I have no idea if it is sprained or fractured. I can't play anymore. I won't know for how long but I know that my family is too poor for any medical bills. But playing guitar was all I had as an escape from this world and now that is gone. I always dreamed of the lime light. I wanted to make it big. Make major money, but to only help my family and friends or people who were really here for me. But it's just hard now. I don't know how I'll be able to live if music is gone for me. My family always seen me as the brick wall, in a good way, like I have always been the strong one after seeing how much I have been through. But now look at me. I am typing a stupid story while balling my eyes out trying to plead for guidance. I just don't know what to do anymore. How to live life. Will my finger be healed so I can play again? Will I ever be able to help my family? How about find love? Get out of this broken paradise and find the guiding light?

By Julie

2012-01-07 20:37:57

Dear Alana, recently I have been thinking a lot about relationships I've had in the past with others, whether it be romantic or emotional, friendship, or work related. Up until this point in my life I have had heart breaks by men that I have fallen in love with, and have lost some good friendships that I've developed in the past. I also find that with some of the employments I've had there are individuals that don't want to get to know me or dislike me for whatever reason. I consider myself to be a loving person with a big heart, I am easy going, sociable, loyal, and become easily attached to people. I am not sure if it is me. I don't want to think or believe that my life is destined to be this way, but it seems that many people that end up coming into my life end up lying, taking advantage of me, or walking out of my life and abandoning the friendship. Please help shed light to me in this matter and help me to understand. Thank you so kindly.

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