Dreams

Hi Alana. You give such amazing advice. I am very thankful to have found you. I would like to ask about a dream I've had, of an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was very much a soul mate to me, because we were absolutely perfect together, in every way. He connected with me perfectly, but due to his family, he felt it would be best that we rather not be together. I've recently started dreaming of him, about once a week for 4 weeks now. I always remember the dreams very vividly, and feel as though I am connected, or as if I was really there. Before I had this dream, I had a strong urge to contact him again, and I did. So the dream is, I am living alone in this big apartment filled with plenty of light coming through these big windows, this is not currently my home, and I live with my parents. He comes to visit me, and I'm wearing a white dress, and he is wearing a white sweater and pants. We sit down and we're talking and laughing and being very normal and affectionate towards each other. It all feels very natural and uplifting. We are both smiling a lot at each other. Then we proceed to lay on my bed, and he kisses me. The kiss feels as though it is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. And I feel those feelings I felt when I first kissed him, this spark, this overwhelmingly strong happy feeling. Then we fall asleep and I wake up, and my head is against his chest, and his arms are embracing me, and I feel extremely peaceful and content. He is looking at me and stroking my cheek, and smiling at me. I then nuzzle my head against his chest and close my eyes. This is how the dream ends. I'm trying to figure out what it means, and also what I should do with my ex-boyfriend now. We've recently started chatting again, but he is seeing someone new, but I have this strong feeling he is still holding on to me, and still wants to be with me, so he is trying everything to not become attached, which means we don't really talk a lot or see each other. What would your advice be? Thank you very much.

I’m at a bit of a loss and so full of questions that it’s maddening. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy or I already am and I’m just in denial. First off, I’m married. I think I love my husband…most of the time at least but there are moments in which I’m not sure. Our relationship was a bit rushed. We had only been dating for 4 months before I became pregnant. I was told that I could never have children so it was a bit of a surprise. Part of me is very steeped in tradition so three months after our daughter was born I married my husband. I was happy but I can’t help but question my motives. I’ve never told my husband but sometimes it feels like I’m living in the middle of a junkyard and just so I don’t have to see the junk I’ve built a house out of tissue paper. Each time we fight or when something happens it’s like a rain comes in and washes away that perfect house…and I’m left in a cluttered mess. I don’t think he’s my ideal match on good or bad days I think that at least once. But he’s my daughter's father and my husband so at times I feel like even though I may not be happy I’m still obligated, and I’ll never do any better. Who am I to take away the ‘ideal’ family from my child. I’ve always been locked up in my own little world and it seems like no matter how hard I may try I could never make him apart of it. I can’t bring myself to leave that world behind. I would be giving up a piece of me. I don’t know what to do about this. To make matters worse I keep having dreams about someone I don’t even know. I don’t know his name. I never remember his face and for the most part I can’t even fully remember the dreams or our conversations. But sometimes I can still recall the sound of his voice. I can kind of remember what he looks like but it’s like recalling someone you’ve not seen in years. The dreams aren’t always of a romantic nature, but even when their not I still feel like I love him. It feels wrong yet I find myself clinging to those dreams when I wake up. We’ve never done anything explicitly sexual each time we come close to anything like that I’ll wake up or my husband will show up in the dream. This has been going on even before I met my husband. I’m twenty three, so I would venture that I’ve been dreaming of him since I was sixteen. I’m scared. I kills me to think of leaving my husband and splitting up our family, but it breaks my heart to think that I could forever be dreaming of this other man. Some part of my wants to believe he’s somehow real and that I could find him. I almost feel like I’m cheating on my husband though. I feel rotten. Please help, am I crazy?