Sexuality

I am a 43-year-old woman 5 years into my second marriage. My first lasted 18 years, but I left because he was an abusive alcoholic. We had 4 children together, 3 of whom still live at home. I am married to a good man now, but I feel I married him on the rebound, and I am not happy or satisfied with my life. I have reconnected with a man that I went to school with. He was my first love and my first kiss. I have never stopped loving him after all these years; I just squelched my feelings because I knew he had started another life with someone else. We have not made any physical contact, just phone calls and online. He is in a loveless marriage, in fact he and his wife are basically roommates. They do have 2 children together ages 11 and 12. I am not an idiot, I know all about the "my wife doesn't understand me" routine or "I'll leave her soon". He has not done any of that. He is in fact afraid of this woman because she has been terribly terribly emotionally and verbally abusive to him throughout their marriage and they no longer have sexual relations. He is afraid if he asks for a divorce she will take the kids and get the house and then he will have lost his children and be paying a huge mortgage on a house that he isn't living in. She has him brainwashed into believing that all their marital problems are somehow all his fault. Bottom line is I love this man, he loves me and we want to be together, but he has been burned so bad by her and he has a lot of trust issues and the fact that he is afraid to make the first move and end the marriage. Do I need to just forget about this and move on which I think would literally rip my heart out or do I keep pursuing this man and this relationship in a slow manner, not pushing or asking for anything other than what he is able to give me right now in the present?

Teresa, how long will you wait? It's called infatuation, yes it is. You married to a nice person, if you want to bring some spice to your married life better consult with a good sexologist or psychiatrist, or read some good books on sex, keep them in your bedroom. Start socializing along with your husband. But forget your first kiss. Your first love is also married, leave him, if he doesn't have the guts to come out of his fractured marriage, let him be there, what is the guarantee that he will keep you happy. Happiness comes from inside, learn some yoga and meditation to control your mind and to walk on the right path. As your husband is a nice person, discuss openly but step by step about your feelings it may take some time but you will feel more secure and start enjoying your life. Wish you a loving relationship.

I am extremely shy about asking a woman out, mostly as a result of an abusive situation when I was in my middle childhood development. I am 60 years old and I was wondering if I should give up or try a different approach. I can feel within my soul that there is a soul mate some where in this world. I think that I am stopping my intuition from receiving my soul mate into my life. What do you suggest?