Sexuality

I am a 43-year-old woman 5 years into my second marriage. My first lasted 18 years, but I left because he was an abusive alcoholic. We had 4 children together, 3 of whom still live at home. I am married to a good man now, but I feel I married him on the rebound, and I am not happy or satisfied with my life. I have reconnected with a man that I went to school with. He was my first love and my first kiss. I have never stopped loving him after all these years; I just squelched my feelings because I knew he had started another life with someone else. We have not made any physical contact, just phone calls and online. He is in a loveless marriage, in fact he and his wife are basically roommates. They do have 2 children together ages 11 and 12. I am not an idiot, I know all about the "my wife doesn't understand me" routine or "I'll leave her soon". He has not done any of that. He is in fact afraid of this woman because she has been terribly terribly emotionally and verbally abusive to him throughout their marriage and they no longer have sexual relations. He is afraid if he asks for a divorce she will take the kids and get the house and then he will have lost his children and be paying a huge mortgage on a house that he isn't living in. She has him brainwashed into believing that all their marital problems are somehow all his fault. Bottom line is I love this man, he loves me and we want to be together, but he has been burned so bad by her and he has a lot of trust issues and the fact that he is afraid to make the first move and end the marriage. Do I need to just forget about this and move on which I think would literally rip my heart out or do I keep pursuing this man and this relationship in a slow manner, not pushing or asking for anything other than what he is able to give me right now in the present?