Question: Within myself, I can feel incredible creativity. Yet, it is so hard for me to get myself moving and actually creating in the physical. It is like it all lives within me and spins. I wish to connect with whatever block I have that inhibits me from actually unleashing this abundance of creativity that I know is there. When I do create art, it feels really good and I am usually happy with the results, but there is still a controlled aspect to what I do. I seem to create art that has to look real, rather than flow with my own interpretations of what real may look like. Does this have something to do with me wanting to be safe and fit in? Thank you Alana for being so gracious and connecting to my question. I really appreciate your presence here in these times.
Answer: You are welcome, dear one.
What I am feeling here are really three questions. The first question seems to be about being able to begin movement. The second question is in regards to the quality of the movement. The third question feels like it has to do with the intention and outcome of the movement.
The spinning that is within you feels like it is your mind bouncing among these three questions. First it goes to the first question, then it goes to the second question, and then it goes to the third question. Then it goes back to first question, then it goes to the second question, and then it goes to the third question. This is the spinning of which you speak.
Alana will assist you in breaking this circle within. We will break this confusion within into a path in which you can feel connected. It is that your internal nature that spins with these questions and then does not know where to connect to begin movement.
Let us go to the first question that has to do with this overwhelming sense of creativity within you and not knowing where to begin. I want to recommend that you identify with a pigment of a color and feel it. Be it. Feel its vibration and then perhaps create an interpretation of that vibration. In other words, go into something that is conceptual, big, and expansive and then interpret it. Find a stroke or a movement that would feel exciting to your soul. This is a beginning place and there is not a lot of thought or planning that is needed to create the beginning motion. Then once there is a beginning motion, it creates excitement because a beginning has taken place. Your inner nature is finding a place to begin.
I am looking within your being and choosing to find the place that would create the excitement. For your nature, it is blending with the vibration of a color that would be exciting. It would be much more exciting than saying, “Here is a tree. Reproduce that tree”. For you it would be, “Let’s go into the microscopic element of the bark and feel its qualities. Let’s create an interpretation of that bark by picking three colors that vibrate with its nature. Now we have a movement so we now have addressed the first question. We have now created a way to begin.
What I find exciting about this first question is that you are creating a way to begin. Your being is conceptual, very expansive, and one that wishes to express. However, sometimes your nature has a hard time finding the finite or finding the grounded place to begin. By blending with the essential vibration of a given thing, you can channel your creativity in much broader ways. By feeling the essential qualities of a thing, we have also spoken to the second question. By channeling the essence of a thing, your experience of the quality of movement transforms as well. Yes?
Now we come to the third question. The third question about expanding your creativity and letting go of your creations having to serve a purpose (intention, outcome). Now what I am saying here is that your nature wants all parts to serve. Yes? So how about allowing all parts to continue to serve a purpose and allowing that purpose to be enjoyment?
Enjoyment will find a way to serve others.
You may fulfill this purpose by the movement of describing the bark. It could come from the movement of channeling an emotion. It could come from the movement of channeling what safety would look like. It could come from the movement of creating an artistic piece that would look like one wanting to fit into the world. How about playing with your parts and wrapping them in enjoyable feelings of creativity.
Do you feel that this could bring up your block even more? Yes? Wonderful! By attempting this, more and more questions (what you would call your block) will come up. Jot them down and begin to create interpretations of them. It doesn’t matter if your interpretations are a simple crosshatch pattern or painting two colors that conflict. Whatever.
Just begin to create movement. This is a kind of art therapy, in a way!
What will happen, they will have expression and begin to be released from your body. Then the parts that have wanted to fit in and feel safe–these are the parts that continually have wanted to reproduce the way the world looks in an exact way–will expand and help you get a greater sense of your creativity.
There is more, but play with these ideas for now and notice the increased movement in your life.