Children that Misbehave
Question: My grandson is misbehaving and using negative language at school. Plus, he's been known to hit or kick other kids and will not listen to anyone. He is very much loved by all of us and we are at loss for a real solution for his behaviors. He is in the first grade. What can we do to correct his behaviors towards the other kids and get him to listen to how he should behave while among other people? It seems like we have tried everything with no positive end results. Your help, time, and advise would be greatly appreciated.
(Time: 4 minutes, 47 seconds)
Answer: Hello dear one, thank you for bringing your question to Alana. Alana appreciates your connection with your grandchild and can feel that he is at an age where he is testing those around him to determine how they react to his nature. Children learn by the reaction of others. Children are also individuals that desire much attention, affection, and presence.
Alana feels what your grandson is doing, through some of his actions, is attempting to get more love. In other words, he feels like he is a very sensitive child. One who has much feeling and is looking for ways to channel the sensitivity that he picks up from his thoughts and his child awareness. It feels on some days he wants the adults around him to match his energy. In other words, express at his level and play with him like children do. He wishes the adults around him to be more childlike and actually play games with him. To move into his vibration and be more like his nature. It feels like he thinks he is not getting enough one on one attention. Perhaps his parents have much responsibility and are busy with their work and day to day activities.
Sometimes it feels like your grandson wants to be the center of attention. He is learning how to gain attention through behaviors that are difficult. What Alana suggests is to make sure that each day he has some one on one parental attention devoted to communication. Ask him how he feels about certain things and converse with him on a level that embraces his wisdom as well. He will feel included and heard by treating him as an equal in this one on one time. Talk to him like he is a little adult and he will feel a greater sense of connection. He will feel that those around him are really connected to him.
It is difficult to know exactly how to be fully conscious when raising a child. As adults we have many duties to take care of, like our jobs that we must go to and our livelihood to manage. Also, it is not always easy to remember to honor a child's wisdom by placing our thoughts on a level the child can relate to (which helps them understand our perspective as well). This creates an exchange that is supportive.
Perhaps, try a couple of these ideas. Give him more one on one time that is devoted to listening and talking to him on a level that respects his knowledge as well. It feels that this is a transition time for him. He will eventually grow through this behavior and be less reactive in these ways.
Thank you for your delightful question.
--Alana
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