Below are three separate questions presented to Alana. The response is a dialogue between Kirk and Alana. The information’s intention was to touch something essential to all three questioner’s needs regarding their children.
Question One: I lost my sixteen year old daughter in a boating accident fifty-nine days ago. I often feel her presence and hear her voice in my head. I feel as if she is trying to tell me something, but I am having trouble centering myself and reaching out to her. My energy level seems so acute lately, and I don’t know how to reach through my grief to connect with her. Will this pass in time? Or is there something I can do to work through this? There is a high ringing pitch in my ears that I can normally lower to center myself, but as I try it naturally rises. My solar plexus, where I normally send and receive from physically, aches. How can I fix this? Any help at all would be greatly appreciated as I am currently lost in the most difficult struggle in my life. Thank you.
Question Two: Dear Alana. I am grieving deeply for my nine year old son who died suddenly almost two weeks ago. I’m going through the anger, guilt, intense pain, and other emotions when someone dies. I cannot understand why God would take him so young and I do not know the way to feel better about his. I know many people are praying for me and sending me love, but I cannot feel it. If it were not for my two other children, I would not see reason to continue on. How can I see anything good about this?
Question Three: I have just had a baby boy, he is now nearly five weeks old. He was delivered directly from the belly in a caesarian operation due to labor complications. He does not seem to be coping too well with this world since the shock of joining us.
Reiki has been part of my life for over eight years now and I have been a trained Rebirther for several years longer than that. However, I seem unable to assist in his healing.
At this time there is little joy in his life. We cope together doing what is necessary, but all we seem able to do is keep the pain and distress at a minimum. There is nothing seriously wrong with him that we can see. Where is the joy that new life should be bringing him?
It is my greatest wish at this time to give my son a better life than he seems to have at this moment. Any guidance you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Kirk: Hello, Alana. In the last two weeks we have received three questions regarding children. We included them in the top portion of this section. Two are from parents who are undergoing the extreme grief that happens as the result of losing a child. The third questioner is experiencing some feelings of helplessness in knowing how to assist his child who is having a difficult time entering into this life.
I would like to ask you to share something about the collective intent of children, and the connection of children and parenting.
Alana: Before I do, I would like to extend much love and comfort to the questioners, and thank them for sharing their deeply personal heartfelt situations. I would also like to acknowledge and share that children and baby beings, just as adults, have purpose and an intention within their spirits. They are wishing to support the raising of awareness and the development of greater levels of consciousness. It is so very important to acknowledge this, and to embrace the greater intent of all children and the paths they ultimately take.
There is a growing awareness regarding the many gifts that children offer to humanity. Children can offer these gifts whether they are in body, or in spirit. Whether it is their life expression that is teaching, or their departure from this world that offers an attainment for greater understanding of love. Children can point humanity in a direction for developing greater levels of compassion for the wisdom and knowledge that children hold within their natures. Children are humankind’s catalyst to awaken.
There is a wave of children who are now wishing to teach humanity much about love. Some children have come into this world with physical diversities. Others have come here to endure great difficulties in their cultures, which will draw the eye of consciousness to their pain and suffering, so that we may all begin to wake up and respond to the consequences of unconscious actions.
There are some children who only touch this earth for a short time before they depart and return to spirit so that they may continue their great work. The manifestations of these children remind us and teach us to reach into the spirit world and begin to recognize and remember that we are something greater than just our physical impression. What is most important to learn from these children is that they are also not just physical beings. They are living spiritual beings. They want to teach us how to find our spiritual roots and become more conscious. They want to support us, and will find ways to do so.
Kirk: Thank you. In my map of reality there is not a masculine God that lives in a distant heaven, who, apart from the sacred free will of humankind, decides when children are born and when they die. In my way of thinking, everything is an intricate part of “All-That-Is” (a term I prefer over “God,” since it doesn’t have the same “baggage” for me). I see a sacredness in birth, for it represents a transition from the other side to the earth plane. And, I see a sacredness in death, for it represents a transition from the earth plane to the other-side. However, for those of us who live on the earth plane, witnessing death is usually negative and associated with pain, and witnessing birth is usually positive and associated with pleasure (the joy of birth, after the physical pain of delivery). It seems to me one reason death is often so hard for us is because we don’t see the simultaneous, beautiful birth that occurs on the other side. I see a birth on this side as a “death” on the other side, and a death on this side as a “birth” on the other side. By perceiving the cycles of creation this way, the words “birth” and “death” seem to be better expressed as “transitions.” Can you talk a little bit about the collective notions of a separate God, and how that might affect our thinking about life and death?
Alana: Yes. When we feel that there is a separate God who controls our destiny, it leaves us very much disempowered. It leaves us in a somewhat helpless state when something like the death of a child or loved one occurs. It also leaves us with an inability to really process our anger and our grief. This is because for some of us our belief systems allow us no real place to direct our expressions. If we direct them toward God, we will feel guilty in doing so, because if it was God’s will, then we should accept what isn’t really acceptable (given the pain we feel). If we get angry with God, we would be questioning his wisdom, and within religious context, be sinning. If we can expand our concept of God to embrace All-That-Is, we can begin to perceive that all physical-form beings have a spiritual destiny. At times their spiritual destiny will lead them into a body to express, and at times their spiritual destiny will lead them to birth into the nonphysical realms. It also will lead us to realize that just because a presence is in spiritual-form, it does not mean we are separate from them or no longer able to sense and feel each other. Yes, there will be physical pain and physical grief for the senses, which are physically oriented. We must work with these senses, embrace them, love them, and honor them through the process of healing from our losses. At the same time, we must also honor our sense of spiritual knowing. It wants to awaken within. It wants to lead us to remembrance and understanding that we are also eternal spiritual beings.
Kirk: One thing you suggested in the past regarding these types of challenging experiences is to create an altar. This focused intention is something we can do for children who are having a hard time, as well as for children who have departed. Would you like to talk about this?
Alana: Yes. An altar is a magnificent way to interact in the physical with the energy and spiritual presence of the child. Use of an altar can support a very healing, focused, intention through which a parent or loved one can interact. Whether it is an altar honoring a living precious being, or one that acts as a memorial, an altar extends focused intention to spirit. The creation and the interaction are very powerful.
When working with a new baby being, a person can create the altar and place upon it a picture of the child. You can surround the picture with healing stones, affirmations, messages, or tokens that express love. You can interact with the altar with Feng Shui, in a natural energy pattern, and this will extend strength to the baby being. Altars become like vortexes of energy that bridge intention. They can act as an entity would that has the ability to support the life force, or the spiritual force, within the soul’s being. Creating an altar is a wonderful way to interact with those who have passed from the physical. Either way it creates a connection with the being’s spirit and honors the contribution of their presence. It offers a way to interact with that presence. It also provides a way to share and complete unfinished thoughts. An altar can act as a gift to the person who is grieving. It provides a path to find completion. When an altar is created it acts as an extension of ourselves, which reaches into the extension of the particular being we are honoring. We build a bridge from which our communication flows.
Kirk: I like that, Alana. I would like to wrap up today’s discussion and ask if you could provide some specific suggestions to support those people who are struggling in taking care of themselves. How does a person “give space” to such powerful energies like shock, disbelief, grief, confusion, and deep sadness? How can we move such things as helplessness through our being without suppressing or getting stuck in them?
Alana: Focused intention is one thing we can do so that we do not feel helpless or stuck in an unresourceful state. Some people’s focused intention is prayer, while other’s focused intention may be affirmations. We can formulate our wishes into statements or language that express what we are feeling and what we need. We also must create support for ourselves through our family and community, especially with the loss of a child or older loved one. It is so important to talk and get one’s pain moving through expression. A support group is vital and a wonderful way to engage with others who may also understand and share similar grief.
We must also take care of our bodies. We must sleep, nourish ourselves, eat properly, and exercise. We must nurture our being. When we are filled with grief it can be difficult to care for our own bodies. We long to have physical connection, and it seems our bodies are what are preventing that connection. Yet the one thing that will support connection is the nurturing of the body. This is because sustenance strengthens our vitality and supports our ability to connect spiritually.
There is a process to healing, and there are several stages to it. Whatever stage an individual is in, hold compassion and allow yourself to gain the richness that is held within that stage. Don’t try to hurry the process. Honor yourself by allowing all steps their space to embrace the felt senses. Doing so will support an individual through the healing process.
Kirk: Thank you for the wisdom you shared, Alana. Is there anything you would like to say to close?
Alana: I extend much love to our questioners and those who share similar experiences. I support them in healing, understanding, and finding resolution. I support them in recognizing the life purpose of the children. I support them in realization. I support them in awakening from the illusion that we are helpless, separate, or that we are without power to learn, grow, and understand the messages and gifts of all children–whether they are in body or in spirit–and what they wish to awaken within humanity.
Thank you, dear ones.