Question: I would like to know what I need to do to be more confident. I am talented and mature and really a special person. My confidence was deflated when I was young and although I have glimpses, I cannot seem to maintain a respectable level to enjoy life and function in my career. Alana I could use some coaching to help me with self development in this area.
Answer: Hello, dear one, it is delightful to hear from you. Alana appreciates your question.
Confidence is an energy that is created from being an example and in return receiving feedback that is fulfilling. Often a young child grows up without a lot of recognition from their family. This can create confusion about their identity. This can also happen when the child doesn’t receive enough attention because the parents aren’t always available. As children grow up they are constantly looking outside of themselves for ways to measure if they know what they think they know or if they have the right answers.
We define our knowledge and our intellect by what we sense others feel about us. This may lead us into creating a definition of ourselves that is derived from approval. In addition, this can create a need for determining the value that exists within us by the way others respond to us. These thoughts lead us to build a false identity. We build our self-esteem from relating to the attention that comes from others.
You already know and are aware of the beautiful, significant, and feminine nature that lies within you. You know that you are a delightful person. You also have much evidence in your awareness of your abilities and skills. But, there is a part of you that is still seeking outward recognition and approval to validate what you know within.
What Alana would do if in your being would be to sit down with a pad and paper and detail my accomplishments. I would go back to the beginning of my life and begin to detail year by year the things that I accomplished and aspired to. Also I would examine the challenges that I made a choice to take on. In addition, what I learned from theses challenges and how well I accomplished them. I would begin to gather much evidence for my mind, to put my mind at ease and to reassure my mind that all of this came from within me. I would note that what I accomplished really was not about how others saw me, it was about what came from within me and how I managed my own nature.
Next, after looking at this beautiful detailed list, I would turn toward gratefulness. Knowing that I, my being, am aligned with the resources that exist in the universe. Also that I can tap into abundance in every form whether it be knowledge, insight, or resources to assist me as I create my life. You see, when you are grateful and recognize that you have all of the resources available through just the desire to know, you can begin to recognize that you have an infinite resource and power supporting you. You will never be without! By combining the knowledge of accomplishment and self-achievement with the knowingness that all resources are available, imagine the definition that will come to you about who your nature really is.
Each day when you awaken create a mantra or a message that embraces this discovery and repeat it to yourself. Stand in front of your mirror and affirm your mantra. Some examples are, “I am all, I am delight, I am a brilliant star, or I am a brilliant being.” Embrace this, hold it in your heart, and smile. As you turn your attention to who you really are, your day will be transformed and you will attract much more light.
Thank you dear one, for your question. Alana appreciates your question as it serves many. Thank you.
(The following is a step by step process for practicing Alana’s message.)
1. Get out your journal or a pad and paper.
2. Take some time and reflect on your life.
3. Explore your life year by year starting from an infant to present day.
4. Become aware of accomplishments you made each year along the way no matter how insignificant they may seem. Also note the larger accomplishments that may have challenged you.
5. Next to each accomplishment note what you learned and how well you did.
6. Reflect on how each of these accomplishments came from the resources within you. That they were created from choices you made.
7. Next to each accomplishment make a list of the different resources within you that you relied on. (Ex: courage, willpower, sensitivity, determination, caring, intuition, etc.)
8. Now take some time and acknowledge what you have recognized. One by one go down your list and really feel and sense each resource that you have.
9. Now take a few moments and connect with your heart. Acknowledge each one of these resources with gratefulness. Notice how these resources connect you to love and wisdom.
10. Celebrate who you are! What phrase or sentence best describes the feeling within you now?
11. Write this down in your journal. This is your mantra or affirmation to help you remember who you really are.
12. Celebrate your unique individual expression!