• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact

askAlana.com

askAlana.com - Helping You Learn to Trust Your Heart

You are here: Home / Relationships / Conflict Resolution / Relationship Communication

Relationship Communication

By Editor Leave a Comment

Relationship CommunicationQuestion: What can I do to improve the communication between my husband and myself? We are so alike in so many ways, yet so different in other ways. Sometimes I feel we can’t discuss anything in our relationship without arguing. We just started marriage counseling, which I feel will help. I have grown spiritually so much in the past year, but he is the only one that can still push my buttons. I want to create a calmer environment for the baby we are trying to conceive. We truly love each other, but we just get stuck sometimes. We both are a little hard headed.

Answer: Hello, dear one! Thank you for your question.

Communication is very important between partners and is a skill that can be developed. And yet, often it is one of the most difficult things to do because we learn our patterns of communication as we grow up. We have patterns of that we develop within us in relationship to the way we respond with our parents and our siblings.

First of all, what the two of you can do is make a conscious effort to examine your communication patterns and see what you may be projecting onto each other. Are you communicating the way that you would with a parent? Are you communicating the way that you would with a sibling? Become aware of how you talk with one another.

Next, hold the other individual as able. In other words, instead of trying to convince them to do something that you want them to do, let to them what you wish, what you desire, and what you need. Then, hold them as able. Sometimes people will dig in their heels when they feel that they are being led into something that they are not quite ready to do. Do you see?

Hold others as able to create clarity, self-definition, and to know what is best for them.

When you try to control another individual, you are expressing that you feel insecure. Or perhaps you are expressing that you think you have to get the other person to do something to take care of a need that you cannot meet yourself.

The more that you hold yourself as able–continue to find ways to meet your needs, be whole, connect with the universe, and feel the abundance within you–then the less you will need to control the outer world.

Understand that Alana is not saying that you are controlling. Alana is illustrating where habits of attempting to control can begin, how they are reinforced, and how we can all step beyond these dilemmas.

Another wonderful tool for communicating is to schedule a weekly time when the two of you get together and brainstorm about what you would like to create in the coming week–things that you would like to accomplish. By becoming consciously aware of each other’s desires, you can avoid having to read each other’s minds. Do you know what I mean?

You can learn how to communicate more effectively. You can learn how to say what is on your mind. You can learn how to take care of your needs. Then, when you make requests of your partner, you can make them in such a way that you still hold them as able.

Hopefully, these thoughts have given you a few pointers. Learning to effectively communicate is a lifelong series of lessons. You can learn to practice being conscious each day. Most importantly, always remember to tune into your partner’s core and essential intentions, not just their learned behaviors. When you do this, you will realize that their actions and the things they do really stem from unconscious intentions that were first learned as an attempt to meet their needs. When you can get that, you will have a greater understanding of why they do the things they do. Then compassion, acceptance, and love will arise.

Thank you, dear one, for your question. It is very delightful. These few words just cover the very tip of what Alana would like to say. Perhaps in the future we will do some kind of a series on the subject of communication.

Thank you, dear one.

— Alana

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window) Telegram
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Filed Under: Conflict Resolution

Reader Interactions

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Search

The Undervalued Self by Dr. Elaine N. Aron

How to Overcome The Undervalued Self: Guide for Balancing Insecurities

By Editor Leave a Comment

How to Manage Anger

Dealing with Blame: How to Manage Anger

By Editor Leave a Comment

Recovery from Substance Addiction

Recovery from Substance Addiction

By Editor Leave a Comment

Integrating Inner Parts

Integrating Inner Parts

By Editor Leave a Comment

Mystic Cross

Mystic Cross

By Editor 1 Comment

Categories

  • Abundance (7)
  • Alana Insights (6)
  • Angels & Spirit Guides (6)
  • Audio Programs (5)
  • Awareness & Meditation (9)
  • Balance (5)
  • Beliefs (10)
  • Books (36)
  • Career & Life Purpose (47)
  • Community & Activism (9)
  • Decision Making (11)
  • Developing Intuition (21)
  • Dreams (3)
  • Earth Changes (11)
  • Film (2)
  • Goddesses & Fairies (31)
  • Health & Wellness (17)
    • Weight Loss (3)
  • Manifestation (17)
  • Music (2)
  • Past Lives (6)
  • Relationships (94)
    • Children (4)
    • Conflict Resolution (18)
    • Departed Loved Ones (14)
    • Pets & Animals (2)
    • Sexuality (3)
  • Self Expression (3)
  • Series (165)
    • The Authentic Self Series (17)
    • The Guide to the Other Side Series (17)
    • The Numerology Personal Year Series (9)
    • The Seven Sacred Steps Series (69)
    • The Soulmate Connections Series (35)
    • The Spirituality Series (18)
  • Spirituality & Transformation (14)
  • Stories (34)
  • Trust (7)

Recent Comments

  • psychicvarmaji95 on Past Life Karmic Relationships
  • Lily Bridgers on Learn All About Fairy Houses – Hiding in the Garden is Where the Fey Folk Live
  • Kathy on Alana Summarizes the Soul Mate Experience
  • Kathy on Finding Your Soul Mate When You are Already Married
  • Kathy on A Conscious Relationship Includes Creating an Observer

Tag Cloud

authentic self awareness body mind spirit relationship building intuition co-creating with others consciousness creating joy creative healing creativity Developing Intuition discovering your authentic self emotional healing essence of intention expanding consciousness finding-your-soulmate finding motivation finding purpose five senses heart listening heart mind balance identifying-personal-values inner voice inspiration intuition intuition training course intuitive healing intuitive listening life changes life purpose living in the present loving-relationships non-negotiable values numerology personal year cycles power-of-self-love power of intention relationship advice self-awareness self-love-exercise self love soulmate-connections soulmate-relationships spiritual guidance spiritual guide transform your life trusting your heart

Privacy Policy

  • Privacy Policy

Footer

Recent Posts

  • The Seven Sacred Steps Table of Contents
  • Finding Life Purpose Direction
  • Creating a Mission Statement to Entice Positive Change
  • Spirituality and Energy Healing Gifts
  • Trading Corporate Job for a Music Career

Recent Comments

  • psychicvarmaji95 on Past Life Karmic Relationships
  • Lily Bridgers on Learn All About Fairy Houses – Hiding in the Garden is Where the Fey Folk Live
  • Kathy on Alana Summarizes the Soul Mate Experience
  • Kathy on Finding Your Soul Mate When You are Already Married
  • Kathy on A Conscious Relationship Includes Creating an Observer

Categories

Abundance Alana Insights Angels & Spirit Guides Audio Programs Awareness & Meditation Balance Beliefs Books Career & Life Purpose Children Community & Activism Conflict Resolution Decision Making Departed Loved Ones Developing Intuition Dreams Earth Changes Film Goddesses & Fairies Health & Wellness Manifestation Music Past Lives Pets & Animals Relationships Self Expression Series Sexuality Spirituality & Transformation Stories The Authentic Self Series The Guide to the Other Side Series The Numerology Personal Year Series The Seven Sacred Steps Series The Soulmate Connections Series The Spirituality Series Trust Weight Loss

HeartCore Corporation© 2025

%d