“We need to learn how to interrupt and redirect the reaction cycle right in the moment…”
Kirk: If somebody came up and said to me, “You were born in Chico, California weren’t you?” I would probably not have a strong reaction because I don’t have any inner conflict going on about being born in Chico. I don’t have any self-judgment about that. But if they say something about me that some part of me judges, then it’s going to resonate with an energy inside of me. If I don’t realize that a part of me is reacting, I may feel like a victim and act aggressively, become a victim, or behave in a passive-aggressive way (masked aggression).
We need to learn how to interrupt and redirect the reaction cycle right in the moment; before we gain much steam and begin to dig a new or deeper hole. It’s much more useful for us to find ways to become aware, learn from the judgment through discernment, and redirect our lives by turning towards that which we choose to create.
Alana: If we don’t, we begin to build momentum with the unfulfilling energy.
Kirk: It feels so good to just end these cycles. We can learn to put the shovels down and discover new ways to live with peace and joy.
Alana: Yes, and remember to breathe. A breath brings in light. When you catch yourself judging, breathe…breathe. That breath will assist you eventually in remembering to discern. Discernment in that moment may have sounded something like, “I just got my hair cut and I haven’t styled it yet. It is not what it shall look like after I take a shower and style it.”
Perhaps if this thought would have been grounded in your nature, and Sandy looked at your hair without it being styled, she may have said, “Hey, you got your hair cut, do you like it?” Kirk may have thought about her reaction and thought to himself, “I am okay and my hair is just a portion of my expression. It may look great or it may look weird. If it does look silly, it will look that way for a while. Anyway, I am not just my hair. I’m going to go jump in the shower now.”
Kirk: And that requires identifying with a greater aspect of who we are by being connected to our Source.
Alana: And, with all joking aside, your choice was to discern your vastness, your greatness, rather than to call your entire essence your hair.
Kirk: Yes, after being initially triggered. I’m happy to let everybody know that I didn’t make that big of a deal about it! I was only using a little garden spade and I dug a very small hole. I filled in the hole quickly and actually planted and watered a few flowers. I’ve been quite the master digger in the past, so it feels good to see steady progress as I practice self-love. If I can learn to discern, anyone can.
Alana: Yes, you can all learn to discern. By the way, do you think the group would like to know why I sometimes call you “Kirkstir”?
Kirk: A bunch of people are nodding their heads, so go ahead.
Alana: Well, in working with Kirk over these many years, I’ve noticed that’s he’s very good at stirring things up! (Laughter)
Kirk: Unfortunately, Alanastir just doesn’t have the same ring. Alana does rhyme with Iguana, or Piranha, but let’s not go there.
Alana: You see? He just starts stirring!
Kirk: You’re so fun, Alana. Well, I think it’s time to stir up the next sacred step.
To view the next post in this series, click > The Fifth Sacred Step: God is Benevolent