The list of personal values included below provide a way to quiz yourself and your partner on what is important to you. They come from the book, “The Cultural Creatives”. These eighteen value statements can help you to become more clear about some of your core values and beliefs. Obviously, there are *many* more ideals I could provide, but these eighteen can be a great starting place. So, here it goes:
- I love nature and I am deeply concerned about its destruction.
- I am strongly aware of the problems of the whole planet (global warming, destruction of rain forests, overpoulation, lack of ecological sustainability, exploitation of people in poorer countries) and want to see more action on them, such as limiting economic growth.
- I would pay more taxes or pay more for consumer goods if I knew the money would go to clean up the environment and to stop global warming.
- I give a lot of importance to developing and maintaining my relationships.
- I give a lot of importance to helping other people and bringing out their unique gifts.
- I volunteer for one or more good causes.
- I care intensely about both psychological and spiritual development.
- I see spirituality or religion as important in my life but are also concerned about the role of the Religious Right in politics.
- I want more equality for women at work, and more women leaders in business and politics.
- I am concerned about violence and the abuse of women and children around the world.
- I want our politics and government spending to put more emphasis on children’s education and well-being, on rebuilding our neighborhoods and communities, and on creating an ecologically sustainable future.
- I am unhappy with both the left and the right in politics and want to find a new way that is not in the mushy middle.
- I tend to be rather optimistic about my future and distrust the cynical and pessimistic view that is given by the media.
- I want to be involved in creating a new and better way of life in our country.
- I am concerned about what the big corporations are doing in the name of making more profits: downsizing, creating environmental problems, and exploiting poorer countries.
- I have my finances and spending under control and I am not concerned about overspending.
- I dislike all the emphasis in modern culture on success and “making it,” on getting and spending, on wealth and luxury goods.
- I like people and places that are exotic and foreign, and I like experiencing and learning about other ways of life.
I invite you to first ponder the values listed in each statment and then reply to the different topics including your values and feelings about each. Then, once you’re clear, you may enjoy having someone else review them and also reply. Next, you can compare your notations with other people and notice the similarities and differences. In building healthy relationships, all beliefs and values don’t have to be the same to harmonize. However, I hope this exercise helps you to take another step closer to determining what beliefs and values are for you “non-negotiable”. You already have *many* non-negotiable values, and here’s a powerful “Yes or No” question to demonstrate:
“Would you be willing to live with someone who enjoys abusing children, feels no remorse, and plans to continue?”
Strong question, yes. I only ask it so that you can experience a clear, absolute, undeniable bodily sense of your answer, which I trust is a resounding “NO! NEVER!”. One way to express this value in the positive is to say, “All children of the world deserve to grow up in a safe, healthy environment where they receive nurturance, care, and love.” I trust your response to this affirmation is an unreserved “YES!”. Again, you have many non-negotiable values. Remember, as Alana quoted, “the more clear you are about what you believe and value, the more easily and effortlessly you will attract people with whom you’re compatible.”
You have just taken another step towards self awareness so that your may build healthy relationships upon compatible values. This helps to ensure that your love relationship is long lasting, rewarding, and radiats love and support for one another.
This is our last quiz for creating healthy relationships in this series. We wish you and yours the very best.
To view the next post in this series, click > Relationship Advice: The Secret to Happy Relationships?