This is article 27 of 35 of the Soul Mate Series, to start from the beginning, click > Table of Contents
Questioner: Sometimes people have judgments about what they can and can not share with their love interests.
What would you say to someone that says, “Well, the things that I want to share I don’t feel like I can because they’re my problem and I should deal with them by myself. I don’t want to share these things because they might hurt my partner’s feelings. I feel like I should just keep them to myself.”
Alana, what would your advice be in cases like this?
The Roots of Resentment
Alana: If a person finds they are suppressing an aspect of their nature what they suppress will build up and eventually turn into resentment, which will manifest in the relationship, or show up in some way in their life.
Holding others at bay will eventually cause a person to find an outlet to channel the resentment they build up toward someone in their life.
What Does it Mean to Hold Others Able?
This is why it is so important to hold others able rather than holding back. If you hold back then that is an act of taking responsibility for their lives. So, do indeed always hold others able.
Hold them able to make their own decisions. Hold them able to be a whole person, capable person.
In other words, if you suppress an aspect of yourself to protect another individual, then you are saying that you are greater than them. You are not supporting their wholeness. It is most important to communicate and reveal what you feel, and what you think without blaming and judging another individual.
We are discussing how important it is to share our personal truth, and allow others to have their own perceptions and ideals.
As individuals grow holding respect for one another space is created to listen and that will expand the qualities that exist in the relationship. It will create a space for them to work within harmony.
Sure there may be differences; it is normal to have different views and opinions for life is creative!
But what a better way to build intimacy and depth in a relationship than by sharing what you feel and need while not making them responsible for your happiness.
To view the next post in this series, click > The True Definition of Marriage